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Millions of us fiercely defend our right to make “free” choices, while we ignore how we’re manipulated upstream by limited menus we didn’t choose. They give people the illusion of free choice while architecting the menu so that they win, no matter what you choose. When people are given a menu of choices, they rarely ask: For example, imagine you’re out with friends on a Tuesday night and want to keep the conversation going.
You open Yelp to find nearby recommendations and see a list of bars.
When using technology, we often focus And this is exactly what product designers do to your mind.
Our relationship is marveled at largely because most people do not believe that a man like Aaron should have to “compromise” his heteronormative social standing by being with a trans woman or a woman who is not “real.” It is rare for an openly trans woman – no matter how “passable” or attractive she is – to have a man who openly loves her, who has an unabashed desire to be seen with her, who proudly stands beside her — despite the stigma and other people’s curiosities and inappropriate questions.In effect, we’re telling trans women that they are only deserving of secret interactions with men, further demeaning and stigmatizing trans women.I’ve stood witness to many so-called scandals, mostly published on gossip blogs, where passing interactions with trans women spawn hundreds of headlines, particularly for a man with fame and social capital.Thousands of words have been dedicated to analyzing whether such and such famous man is now suspect, merely because he took a photo with a fan who happened to be a trans woman.This questioning has led many well-known men to adamantly defend their heterosexuality and has tarnished the reputation and careers of others.
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For a man to be associated with a trans women, in effect, is to say that he is no longer a “real” man (as if such a thing exists) because he sleeps with “fake” women (as if such a thing exists). As there are many kinds of women, there are many kinds of men, and many men desire many kinds of women, trans women are amongst these women. The shame that society attaches to these men, specifically attacking their sexuality and shaming their attraction, directly affects trans women. It amplifies our body-image issues, our self-esteem, our sense of possibility, of daring for greatness, of aiming for something or somewhere greater.